Weaning begins the moment a child takes in calories from a source other than breastmilk. At best, the process takes weeks, months, and sometimes years.
Oxytocin and prolactin, the hormones responsible for milk production and letdown in the breastfeeding mother, do more than just regulate the biology of lactation.
- Prolactin has a deeply tranquilizing effect, relaxing the new mother during nursing sessions, which in turn relaxes the baby. It’s not uncommon for Mom to nod off while breastfeeding, and this is no coincidence. Studies show that if she allows herself to give in to these 10-minute catnaps (with baby safe in arms and securely surrounded by pillows), she can gain an additional 1–2 hours of sleep per day—much needed as a new parent.
- Oxytocin is the love hormone. It’s the feel-good tingles you get on a first date, when holding hands with a loved one, or while adopting a new pet. Oxytocin helps us fall in love with our babies and remain somewhat happy to care for them throughout the exhaustion and uncertainty.
No matter how long a mother has nursed, she may feel a sadness deeply tied to the loss of that breastfeeding relationship with her child. Something has changed, and something is missing. Whether it was a frustrating and stressful experience, thoroughly enjoyable, or—most likely—something somewhere in between, the conclusion of weaning or a move to bottle-feeding often involves grieving.
The Hormonal Shift
Breastfeeding cessation, much like the period immediately following birth, brings about a significant hormonal shift. Overproduction of these calming and euphoria-creating hormones drops, not surprisingly bringing about feelings of sadness, anxiety, and depression in the mother.
Weaning is the traditional term for the discontinuation of the breastfeeding relationship because “gradual” is the best approach for both mother and child. In addition to hormonal changes, the nursing couple transitions to a different kind of relationship. They are no longer symbiotic, attached physically and so intimately. Naturally, there is a loss. Best to take it at a slow pace to avoid emotional upheaval.
An early and sudden stop to breastfeeding due to unforeseen circumstances (illness, separation, or trauma) can bring about a greater risk for unease and depression. Hormones are high, and a sudden change can be jarring.
Navigating the Transition
It’s the end of an era! Do not hesitate to give the moment (and in this case, a moment may mean a month) its due credit and pause.
As for the blues that often accompany this bittersweet transition—know that this too shall pass. Another milestone, another memory, another item on your “experienced parent resume.”
In the meantime:
- Uncover and cherish new ways to be close to your child, without nursing.
- Take care of your general hormonal balance as the lactation hormones subside—eat well, exercise, and limit caffeine and alcohol.
It’s OK to feel sad about this, and it’s also OK to feel elation, freedom, and relief. All of those things. Just let yourself feel.
If you’re navigating the emotional transition of weaning and need support, you’re not alone. Reach out to PHA Wellness for expert guidance, resources, and compassionate care as you move through this next phase of parenthood.
By Jen Wittes