Healing from Guilt and Regret
Healing from guilt and regret starts by acknowledging the Truth:
- What prevented you from being who you wish you’d been?
- What got in the way of making a preferred choice?
- What were/are your limitations?
None of us can or will be perfect—we are constantly growing and learning from our mistakes and hardships. Even though we may feel guilty about or regret actions in our past, there were probably understandable reasons why we did what we did, even when we were cruel or selfish.
Forgiving ourselves—healing from regret and guilt—does not mean making excuses for our actions. No. It means acknowledging our limitations and understanding what was underlying our desires.
Identifying Our Limitations
- Were we limited by fear, shame, passivity, or self-doubt?
- Did we feel pulled in several directions at once?
- Were we seeking less stress, fulfillment, love, approval, or praise?
- Did we lack information, confidence, or the experience needed to behave differently?
When we name our limitations in this way, we can then examine them:
- Why did I have fear?
- How did I learn to be passive?
- What made me seek approval?
Answering these questions gives us deeper insight and understanding. Compassion—loving understanding—is essential to forgiving ourselves and others.
The Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness doesn’t make mistakes right, but it allows us to acknowledge honestly who we were then, using what we know now:
- “If I’d had the courage I have now, I would have…”
- “If I’d had the same abilities or confidence I have now, I would have…”
- “If I’d felt more supported, I might have…”
When we acknowledge our limitations with honesty and self-understanding, we step out from under shame. We may be able to make apologies if needed or make amends to ourselves or others.
Who we are now—our willingness to take positive action—redeems the mistakes of our past because they no longer define us. If we openly acknowledge our mistakes and what we’ve learned, we can hold our heads high and move forward.
Even falling short of our own or others’ expectations can make us more whole, richer people—more compassionate toward both our own humanness and that of others.
Find Support With PHA Wellness
If you’re ready to find deeper healing and self-compassion, our team of professionals offer resources, support and insights to help you move forward. Visit phawellness.com to learn more.