We’ve heard the saying – yes – that “it takes a village.” We’ve also heard that, sadly, our villages are disconnected, dismantled – spiritually broken by the almighty smart phone, and the news–oh, the news.
Families, who once dwelled in a one-room prairie house and – then, later – in the same duplex, are now scattered. Grandmas and aunties who used to tend to moms and babies are today’s career women…with active social lives and triathlons to train for.
Things have changed – in some ways for the better and for the sake of progress and equality, while also causing a shift in the way we view the postpartum tradition of taking rest.
We talk often of needing help, calling neighbors, hiring doulas, sparking up the church meal tree. We talk of creating our own village, reclaiming the “lying in” period, doing things right. But for modern mothers, raised in the afterglow and subsequent backlash of feminism, asking for help doesn’t come naturally.
Beyond the actual NEED for both practical and emotional help, ASKING for help is actually a therapeutic process. Even in prayer, in yoga class, to the stock boy in the cereal aisle – to admit that we need help allows us to soften. Paradoxically, to ask for help (knowing that you need it) is a sign of strength.
Softening, strength and HELP were never more important than they are during the postpartum period. Ask for it, hire it, ACCEPT IT (for crying out loud) when it is offered willingly!